She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
