I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
