I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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