I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
