so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
