Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We are all done wearing pants today
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
