Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
