who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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