so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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