Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
