I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
