At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.