I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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