He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
