whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
