just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!