im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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