i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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