My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize