so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
