i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I enjoy the company of your penis
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
