Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
