we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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