Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
