I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
