Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
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He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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