well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
