also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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