Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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