you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i wish my penis had a tongue
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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