Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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