apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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