They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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