Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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