This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
