Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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