My sheets look like a crime scene.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
