you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize