If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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