I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
