porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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