Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
