I want you more than these girls want KFC
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
