I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
