Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
