haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
