is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
