I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
