It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
