I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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