After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
