so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
