Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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