Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
