i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
