she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
