I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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