I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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