I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
