Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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