So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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