Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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