so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
