We named our party play list daddy issues
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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